I’d like to introduce a new segment entitled ‘The Book of Awkward Volume 1.’ I once tweeted that I was going to write a book called the Book of Awkward that would be like the Book of Awesome but just about Awkward things rather than Awesome things. If you ask me being awkward and being awesome go hand in hand. So here is the first volume. Enjoy. Awkward night 2011 coming soon to youth groups everywhere.
Waving to someone who’s waving to someone behind you.
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This happened to me in High School and it was wicked (I think it’s time to bring that word back) awkward. This girl was waving to me in the hallway and I said to myself “hmm I don’t think we really know each other but she’s waving to me and looks excited.” So I waved back with a head nod. Meanwhile the other person she was waving at was behind me. To make matters even more awkward the girl that was waving had to tell me she was talking to the person behind me. AWKWARD.
Someone calling you by the wrong name
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This gets awkward because someone might call you by the wrong name so many times in a conversation that correcting them would be even more awkward. For the record, Ashlee-Heather gets this all the time. One time someone called her Angela. Another time Mandy. And yet another time it was Arlene. I sometimes call her Rhonda. One time I think it was during a prayer circle that someone was praying for Ashlee-Heather and called her a different name. At which point I opened my eyes and looked over at A-Heather. I’m glad she didn’t see me because we both probably would have start cracking up right then and there during the prayer circle. That would have been AWKWARD.
A joke that doesn’t work
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Crickets. AWKWARD.
Hearing your own voice recorded
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I get this one a lot because I like to leave messages on the answering machine at home when I know Ashlee-Heather is home but not answering. So I’ll leave a professional sounding message. “Hi, this message is for Ashlee-Heather Mackneer this is Jim calling from the insurance company…” I don’t know if this is actually awkward but those of you who’ve heard your own voice recorded you know it’s something. Awkward maybe not but it’s close. It also depends what you’ve recorded and who’s listening. It could be AWKWARD. When I was younger I used to call home and play my Cornet in the answering machine to the tune of Let’s Go Band. That was more awesome than awkward.
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Good night Canada, Stay awkward America.
